There’s no way around it, dating sucks. Growing up, I always knew I would be a Carrie Bradshaw, living my best life while drinking with my gals, but boy was I wrong. Come to find out I’m a Rachel in a world of Ross’s. To top off how goddamn difficult dating is at its minimum we’ve now added the talking phase, the “thing” phase, dating exclusively, being boyfriend and girlfriend, and a final committed phase. Why did we do this to ourselves? It’s no longer a simple middle school crush that your friend tells his friend, who tells him, which makes you officially off the market. In a world controlled by social media, the power of trust and loyalty in relationships are left behind and replaced by blurred lines and number of likes.

I’ve found myself trapped in a city of penises flying into my DMs, through Bumble or at best, Hinge, or at the bar so drunk that they can’t even get up. I’m so tired of endless disappointment. The question of- “what are we?” (AKA DTR) is always too soon, even 7 months into fucking, going on dates, and meeting each other’s friends. It’s an endless cycle of not being committed because the other person isn’t acting committed, which unbeknownst to you is because they think you aren’t committed… get where I’m going with this? It’s fucked.

So, in the midst of picking up and moving to a brand-new city, full of endless food, bottomless brunches, and some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen, I’m compelled to share my horrible, yet entertaining, and I’m sure extremely relatable, dating stories. With every new “thing” comes a new realization of how much shit we’re all in and pushes me further from a ring and more towards hookahs and bad decisions.

In this series of blogs, I will focus on one guy at a time. All names are changed, and details may be left out to spare the feelings of some extremely emotional males (but God forbid woman are put in power because our periods will cause us to start a nuclear war!!!!!!!) With good intentions and the simple fact that IDGAF, here are my experiences…